Today I was in a particularly “woe is me” kind of mood. Thinking about all the things I had to do, thinking about how my life sometimes feels like the routine of a washing machine “wash, rinse, repeat”.
With the sparkle and bustling activity of the holidays behind us, it may just be that the monotony of the remaining winter months is getting to me. That need to be outside in the sunshine, possibly. I am from the tropics after all, I don’t believe I’m made for this type of cold weather!! Lol.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful life and I am so blessed and yet…
Yet, here I was thinking, “if only I could take a vacation”, “if only it wasn’t 9 degrees outside”, “if only I didn’t have to sweep the kitchen floor for the upteenth time”, if only, if only. All those “if only’s” sounded, to me, like words of dissatisfaction. As with any thought process that is not honoring to God, I had to check my “if only” attitude at the door and renew my mind with the truth of God’s word.
The tasks that God has given me, fill me with a perplexing mixture of awe (because of the wonderful honor of being a wife and mother) and impossibility (there’s so much to do? how will I accomplish it all?). As I asked God to refresh my heart and renew my mind, He reminded that this is THE day which He made (for me), and I should rejoice and be glad in it!! Yes, this day, everyday, that my eyes open after a night’s sleep is a day He’s given me to rejoice in.
This is not to say that it is wrong to want a vacation or warmer weather (or clean floors), all those things will come, just not today, not right now, so no sense wallowing. I choose to spend the rest of my day “off routine”. I helped the boys fill balloons with food coloring and water and put them outside to freeze, we made paper snowflakes, colored and made pizza. Now that’s something to rejoice in…the flexibility of the homeschooling life He’s chosen for us. 🙂
Note: This is like an open journal entry for me. I am sharing it, because I believe we all feel this way at one time or another. My journal entries encourage me and give me new perspective. I hope it will do the same for you. Just know that not only are you in good company, you’re never alone! Every assignment He has called us to, He will equip us to complete it to the end. If only I would never forget this. 🙂